Part of a new morning ritual I've been enjoying is reading for personal development. I spend just a few pages, just a few minutes, with a cup of coffee, a snuggled up pup, and something that challenges me to think about myself critically and grow.
The past week, I've been reading Marie Forleo's #1 NY Times Best-Seller, Everything is Figureoutable. I won't give anything away (because I think you should read it, too) but the premise is just as it seems: There is a solution through everything, and you are capable of figuring out how to do/solve/accomplish/survive whatever you have your heart set on. It's not fluffy, thought; it's tangible and practical, offering a systematic approach to tackling your fears and accomplishing your goals. I LOVE IT.
I've been struggling a bit, though, with some of the action items at the end of the chapters. They ask you to reflect on things you need to "figure out" and what's blocking you from your dreams, and I haven't really been able to pinpoint mine, even though I feel wildly pulled to this book, so I know there's SOMETHING to figure out...
Some of the roadblocks I've thought about;
Fear of being wrong? Nope. I've been wrong before, so I know I can try again.
Fear of change? Ha, obviously not...
Fear of losing money? Wouldn't that imply lots of money to begin with? ;)
Fear of failure? I don't think so, because I believe in learning lessons, and I believe in things being figureoutable...
Well, today I've FIGURED IT OUT, the thing that keeps me from living to my full potential and seeing the fullest expression of my dreams.
I'm a Sagittarius, an Enneagram 3 (Achiever), and a first-born daughter, so really it should come as ZERO surprise, although I don't think I've ever articulated it before:
I'm afraid of looking incompetent.
Yep, that's it. Not afraid of being wrong, but of LOOKING wrong. Not a fear of failing, but of others believing I can't do something. I've built a lot of my life around my abilities to "do things." Over time I've tied a lot of my self-worth to accomplishments, skills, achievements, and bold ventures. Developing the "best version of me" is so deeply ingrained, and there's a lot of pride that comes from being able to figure things out independently. "Having things handled," being self-sufficient, and being in control feel like core parts of my identity.
I'm not sure why, because I've always had what's probably the world's greatest support system; they'd drop what they're doing in the blink of an eye to help with whatever I asked for! The problem, though, is that I can't ask. It's almost impossible for me to ask for real help, because in my gut that means admitting that I DON'T have something handled. And that's who I am - the girl who can handle things.
If this is true, if a fear of appearing incompetent/incapable/"weak" to others is the the thing that is blocking me from the fullest expression of my dreams, then boy, do I need to figure THAT out, because you know what that means?
The only thing in my way is me.
So, to my point here:
What if the only thing in your way is, well, you?
Is there a belief you have about yourself, your abilities, or your core values that might need to be identified and worked through in order for you to begin taking actionable steps toward whatever your next goal is?
I'm just here today in hopes that my being open & a little vulnerable will help you decide to go figure it out, too.
You grow, girl.